Take Fear out of your Facebook Feed



One might long for the days when your social media feeds only gave you anxiety about how your life compared to others.


Today it’s hard to venture online without gasping with horror at how our world seems to be heading for some sort of explosive event.


To that end I have made a conscious choice to replace my addiction to FB with an addiction to books. Since November 8th I have read 9 books on my iPhone. BTW, if you haven’t read  Crazy Rich Asians or the The Magician’s Lie …go buy them now so you too can find yourself inhaling luscious fiction while waiting for your latte.


And while it might be the norm for some people, 9 books marks a major shift for this girl who, although being an author myself, had to be bribed as a child to read.


That said I still feel the draw of FB. And while some may feel it’s just a big complaining fest, I see something else. It’s a nuanced difference that my training as a coach (FearlessLiving.com) helps me to see.


Complaining keeps one stuck in the complaint without moving beyond it. When you complain, you don’t look for solutions or seek feedback.


Clearly there is a LOT of that. But many of my friends and others are moving past the complaining. They are protesting, speaking with their wallets (hello 24 million dollars to the ACLU), engaging with elected officials, and using their voices to speak for the disenfranchised. (Please see this amazing article from writer producer Hadley Davis)


So how about a tit for tat? Before you start composing that brilliant tweet, FB post or meme showing Trump as a baby/psychopath/tiny-hand-monster call your elected official and voice your concerns.


Make a donation to a refugee charity. Or find out how you can support any number of the other causes that didn’t go away and probably got worse because of the new administration; may I suggest feeding seniors with St. Vincent Meals on Wheels or saving dogs with Wags & Walks.


Bottom line, take positive actions instead of just complaining; it has a triple benefit. First it keeps a dialogue going in our society. Second, you are supporting good work and third, which to me is  just as important, it leads to feelings of empowerment.


Being stuck in a complaint keeps you stuck in fear and nothing will be accomplished on the micro or macro level from there.



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